She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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