I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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