i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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