brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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