My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
