I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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