Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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