Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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