super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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