and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
