i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
