I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
why is half of my head shaved?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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