On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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