i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i out mim tonsoeep
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
