Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
