she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
