i permit you to call me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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