brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
