I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
