guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize