It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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