My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
