you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
