she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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