Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
