I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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