i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
