I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
