HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize