could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
