I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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