I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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