Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
