I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
