I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
