Define "chronic" masturbator.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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