even my farts smell like vagina
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
