On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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