And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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