I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
