Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
