I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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