Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
