She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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