Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
