conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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