If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
do nipples grow back?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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