he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish you could order shots online.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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