he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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