The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
