he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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