he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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