I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
