Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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