If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
