dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
