Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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