Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
