i just google imaged poop.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
