absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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