Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
