I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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