WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
