You can't special order awesome
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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