i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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