i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
